that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm too high and old for this...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize