I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
