no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
