how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
