My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
