haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
