There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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