That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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