he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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