I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize