woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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