I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize