it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
