i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
