why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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