And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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