Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
