We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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