but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
