onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
