Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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