are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
