HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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