i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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