and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
