how can u be prego again
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
