so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
