I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
