I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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