I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
