I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
