I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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