I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize