My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
