Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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