i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
