she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
well you can't waste a boner
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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