another moral hangover. fuck.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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