Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
