i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
