then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
