so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
cat food counts as protein by the way
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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