my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
operation harelip BJ is a go
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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