I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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