I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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