Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
