bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize