omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
