We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
