Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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