I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
