I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
