if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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