Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
