that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
