the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i came on her dog
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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