he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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